.

Knowing that I couldn’t be completely happy in my current situation, I took a risk that paid off for us all —> it’s been 16 years since I came out - my kiddos are grown and successfully contributing members of society and my ex-wife is still one of my closest allies.

But I've always been a 'follow the rules' type of person, and marrying a woman and having kids was what I was 'supposed to do.' This was motivation enough for me to avoid all of the signs. my kids, family, and friends know. (this was the 90s in Orlando FL) So my friend got me to talk to other gay guys and try and accept myself. Part of me felt responsible for her death, as if my being bi or gay and that feeling of regret somehow caused it.

I would never cheat on my wife, and I couldn't imagine hurting her or the kids by coming out and getting divorced. I kept my sexuality to myself, as I felt it was irrelevant and that there was nothing I could do about it. I am still struggling but now I don't put sex into "right" or "wrong" categories And I'm learning that being gay is normal and not really a big deal.

Apologizing for what he had said about gays and Matthew Shepard. and did not socialize or tried not to .. My father asked me to talk with him a few hours later, and I was already prepared to get kicked out.

We sat outside on the deck and he immediately begins crying. Anyhow I am 47 Was 13 in 1986 and there was no chance of coming out then.

In reading through the other responses of those who have come out late, I'm realizing this is a common thread.

While living with the grief of losing my best friend and partner, as well as raising a 10 and 14-year-old on my own is difficult and painful at times, I am able to recognize the silver lining in that I am now living my true self. I didn’t want to reach old age having never been with a man and regret it.

She doesn't talk about it or acknowledge it. I even posted something on Facebook on National Coming Out Day, outing myself to the larger community of my Facebook friends.

Thinking back through my past, I think all of the signs were there as early as 12 or 13, as I can remember having crushes on boys as early as then. I was holding onto an insane amount of guilt, though.

We fix cars, fish, go hunting, are fanatics about Chicago sports, and talk about women and how they drive you nuts. At that time the last thing you wanted to be was gay (at least in my mind) It wasn't until i was 26 or 27, i Forget, that a very good friend finally asked me when I was gonna come out of the closet. But I didn't accept myself... Every time the news talked about him, his parents, the men who did it, I would begin crying.

Now, he was telling me to be proud of myself, to stand up and fight for myself and my community, to be happy with myself.

My mother (old world Polish) isn't really OK with it nor is she against it. But there's no way to know, and I consider it fortunate that we had our happy years together, and that my future, though different, will feature my true self."

—drfinale