Living the lie of being gay

This support system can help to prevent people from falling into the trap of living a lie by reminding them that they are good enough and capable of achieving their goals.

Seek Professional Help

Fifth, it is important for people who struggle with self-deception to seek professional help if necessary.

What’s it like to be queer and religious?

What’s the difference between bisexual and pansexual?

The honest answer is – not much! I tried to pretend to be like the other girls, but that didn't really feel good, I became far more interested in writing and making theatre than I was in boys, so I threw myself in to that instead.

Coming to terms with being gay

Finally, in my mid-20s I started working with a brilliant theatre company that just so happened to be packed to the rafters with queer women, of all ages, all very different, and suddenly things started to fall in to place for me.

People who live the lie do so because they are unable or unwilling to face the facts.

Why do people fall into the trap of living the lie?

People can fall into the trap of living a lie for many reasons. I finally had the role models I needed. Holding yourself back from identifying with the LGBTQ+ community can also make you feel disconnected from yourself.

That said, it’s important to know that for some, especially older LGBTQ+ folks, 'queer' still carries the sting of insult, a word spat in the playground. Bisexuals were often dismissed, told to 'pick a side.'

Now, younger generations embrace a looser, more creative spectrum. We maybe use trans as a way of making it clear we are not cis.

Polyamory, which means having multiple loving or romantic relationships, is one form of ENM. Other forms include open relationships or relationship anarchy (sounds fun right?). People grow. The most common form of self-deception is called “living the lie” – which is our denial of reality, or ignoring facts that are unpleasant or inconvenient to us.

This means being truthful about:

• How you feel,
• What your goals are, and
• What you want in life.

It can also mean being willing to admit when you are wrong and accepting responsibility for your actions.

Have a Support System

Fourth, it is important to have a support system of family and friends who will help you through difficult times.

Maybe you know you’re not straight, but aren’t sure what you should, or can, call yourself.

A twink is also a very body-specific term, which many consider to be a problematic element of gay male culture. You might have heard of Bears – hairy older men often of a bigger build – but did you know ‘Otter’ is the term for a young Bear? People who live the lie often end up feeling isolated and alone. Many people struggle with this issue for years before they seek professional assistance but the sooner you get help, the better your chances are of breaking free from self-deception.

Many individuals go through therapy to overcome their struggles with self-deception.

Twinks are typically young, slim, white, and hairless. This means that it is a way for people to protect themselves from emotional pain or harm.